Our Pre Birth Story

Wow ok so 16 years ago this time I was 1/3rd of the way pregnant.

Maybe this pre Mothers Day blog hop is what I need to help this blog get on track. 

We will go back to the beginning for a moment. After that we can go back to the teen adventures I am dealing with that started this .5 of a blog as I call it.

My mother had two live births and too many miserable pregnancies that ended in miscarriage. 

My birth was such a mess it did a lot of damage. To carry my brother to term she had to have a cerclage and be on bed rest.

If there was anything I knew about child birth it was the following: It's natural but it will kick your butt on the pain scale and other wise.

I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be drugged. The idea of CIO or Mind Over Matter did not even enter my head.

I was 20 years old. I was single. It was an exciting time.

Fast forward to late September. 

I had a last minute Dr. check scheduled for right around the due date they had given me. 

At which time I was told my body was giving no serious indication that it was in transition towards labor and delivery.

I was incensed having been pregnant ALL year. I just knew he would want to do something about this. He was content to wait. I went home.

The following Thursday morning as I was drying after a shower my plug fell out.

Labor in it's own slow natural way was beginning. I called the hospital. They said to come in and get things checked. As ready as I was sure I was this sent me into a tizzy. It took me the rest of the day to make sure I was packed and supplied properly.

When I arrived and they checked my fluids and cervix they sent me home. If I could be annoyed by medical professionals they were working up the short list.

Breathe Breathe Breathe Release Relax...pant

As Saturday rolled through contractions started. I sat around with my roommate who for the weekend was giddy like he was going to be a dad. 

We timed and kept tabs on how my slow but steady labor was progressing. By 10 or 11pm they were regular and getting closer together but not overly intense.

I decided on a nice bath. Either I would be a really clean relaxed lady in the delivery room or I would put myself to sleep for the last time solo was my thinking. Indeed the latter happened.

Around 6am that Sunday morning I awoke to a serious contraction. We are talking an 8 on the pain scale. It subsided and I called my mother to come and pick me up as planned.

As she got up to get ready my dad grabbed the phone and wanted to chat. My body was too distracted and I quickly bid him adieu. 

Contractions were coming hard and regular. Not so much that I thought I might transition into delivery any time soon. Serious enough however that I knew the day had come.

I was in the hospital about one hour later. It would be 12 hours before this ordeal was a complete success.

...to be continued...

Moving Apart to Bond

You have not lived until you have moved a three piece sectional up stairs into a bedroom.

That is what we did last week. She wanted to move down stairs and I decided to allow it if we could get the couch into the master that has been hers in our two bedroom town home rental.

We needed the bonding exercise and she needed...a new project and a bit more independence.

If I have spoiled her it is with too much freedom. The balance now is to allow new adventures that have their own requirements and restrictions.

My clutter and mess annoys her. Hers me too but I get so much less grace for some reason. Living down stairs the idea is she won't have to see my mess and she can actually keep it looking presentable.

 

She is doing well in school. That is a relief. She is actually doing very well which is what I knew was possible. She just needed the stability and again maybe more control of the reigns.

I hate that she thinks I am the enemy sometimes. I have started telling her, her lack of service to me and the house drives her unrest.

“How can you feel good about yourself and your life if you are doing nothing to contribute to anyone or anything but yourself?” I asked her.

She has said she is neat and tidy but I keep her from being so. I told her that is bunk. I told her if she were really so concerned she would do more and demand more not just complain.

I further explained to her some of the problems she can see are things she simply needs to deal with and come along side me on. 

It should be an interesting spring and summer. Maybe we will do some/more entertaining. We’ve been hiding a little bit. Only her step siblings and a couple of her friends have come over since we moved in here. 

She has probably spent more time away between them, her friends and the guys she has dated. I want her to feel comfortable to bring people over.

Having no door and all of the downstairs to herself should facilitate that. 

I needed her to take ownership in keeping things tidy and guest ready. This will force it or show that we need outside resources.

Holiday Miscommunications

Some how I ended upon YouTube the other night in the wee hours.

Yeah good times, good times.

I stumbled upon multiple "responses" to Katy Perry’s California Girls video. Some of them are even from outside the US. I am talking as far away as Northern Ireland and South East Asia. It was touching.

 

Of those that I watched Minnesota Girls is the best. "Waterproof boots & flannel on top." Hahahahaha

So awakening quick the next morning on the couch I ran up stairs to share with the young ladies. My daughter and her Bestie were having an extended sleep over which meant I barely saw them. 

I thought they would get a kick out of it. I further reasoned that it would be helpful in really having a glimpse at what girls in another places have to say for themselves.

I loved the girl power aspect of it all. The videos and lyrics are creative and funny. They reference local culture and the high lights of the various locations. 

In Maine they sing “You could travel the states but nothing comes close to the girls…” they point on the map to that little spot way up high on the eastern peninsula.

With all these thoughts in my head I stopped to start my Oil Pulling ritual so I could not talk when I knocked on the closed bedroom door. I could hear the girls inside awake, chattering and listening to music.

I pointed to my cued up laptop and turned down their radio. “Turn the radio back on we were listening to that song my daughter said. I complied thinking maybe it was a new hit they had been waiting for. I was in no rush. My daughter did not let up. I tried to use American Sign Language to give her some clues about what I wanted to share.

She wasn’t really getting them and she didn’t like the opening scene of the video so she harassed me until I left the room. 

Oil pulling takes 20min so I took a shower and did a few other things. I tried to figure out how things had gone so wrong.

As soon as I could I called a meeting and we went to sit in the car. I don’t know if that scared her that I called a meeting or if she had been feeling bad but right away she apologized. After which she said she woke up a little cranky and tired. 

She was across the room sitting in a chair by her mirror about 1/3^rd of the way through straightening her hair. So it was not like she was still under the covers with her eyes half open.

Mamma was born at night but not last night. "A 2 min video is not worth alienating your mother over" I reminded her. 

"I was not interested in some random lame parody of a song I like" she countered second. 

"It was not that either" I told her.

"If you are really just not in a mood, maybe we both need to learn how to say that nicely. Otherwise can I have the trust and respect as your mother that I might have some things to share and add?" Especially when you invite friends over. 

 

"It can be helpful for us to act like we are on the same team and not adversaries." 

I think we ended okay.

Holiday Joy

Here I am desperately seeking a menorah and the daughter went to Walgreens with me where she decided she had to have a Charlie Brown Christmas tree for her room.

We went with her Bestie to finish up Christmas shopping for the other relatives so I was distracted. Well I was really distracted shopping for myself. 

With the previous trip to the same store had come some Jingle Cash which was expiring. I want to get us both new digital clock radios preferably with cd players. I thought they would have them but sadly they did not.

Then I saw they had a projector on sale. I wanted that. They were out of them. I was not sure what else we needed and there was a minimum I had to buy to get the Jingle Cash discount.

With today being the last day of my discount availability I went back to the original store we shopped at and returned the items we were disappointed with.

A pair of frog slippers the daughter got for her step sister were missing an eye on one foot. I bought individual toe socks but the toes were too generic and tiny, she got two shirts for her baby nieces but was over charged at check out.

The original shop on Watt, across from Metro where I needed to pay our phone bills because they were off, did not have the projector either. It also listed that the deal they had posted in last weeks ad for it had ended.

I wondered if I should have asked for a rain check the night before. We had been at the Walgreens at Antelope. Heading off to the one on Greenback was my last hope. 

They had all I wanted and more…hahahahah

When I finally looked and saw the pitiful little tree I had to laugh and give in. They are discounted down to $5.Squee!

I think she will be delighted to have it in a few days. Tonight she is busy with the Bestie still…

They are hanging outside with friends.

I took the uncooked Thanksgiving turkey out of the freezer. Yesterday I made fudge. Today I bought cookies sheets and cream cheese cookie press cookies are planned for some time in the near future. I really can’t wait too long. 

One of my friends invited me over for Friday tea and cookies. She invited me but suggested I should bring the cookies. LOL

I have silly friends. I don’t think the teen will be joining us for tea. She has become extremely picky about which of my friends (even those with kids her age) she can abide…

She can be a doll however. On the first day of Hanukkah she gave me a mom diary for the coming year. I love her giving heart. When she is flush with funds her thoughts run to family. Even the grown ups have gifts from her this year.

We left one store without a small wall hanging she purchased and got home too late to go back or call. The next day I dropped by. The teen assumed it was gone. 

The store said “Oh no the cashier realized as soon as you were out the door. She told us you might drop in, you paid by check and this was your item.” They had it in the back room on hold.

Blessings Everyone!