Monday, April 16, 2012

Moving Apart to Bond

You have not lived until you have moved a three piece sectional up stairs into a bedroom.

That is what we did last week. She wanted to move down stairs and I decided to allow it if we could get the couch into the master that has been hers in our two bedroom town home rental.

We needed the bonding exercise and she needed...a new project and a bit more independence.

If I have spoiled her it is with too much freedom. The balance now is to allow new adventures that have their own requirements and restrictions.

My clutter and mess annoys her. Hers me too but I get so much less grace for some reason. Living down stairs the idea is she won't have to see my mess and she can actually keep it looking presentable.
She is doing well in school. That is a relief. She is actually doing very well which is what I knew was possible. She just needed the stability and again maybe more control of the reigns.

I hate that she thinks I am the enemy sometimes. I have started telling her, her lack of service to me and the house drives her unrest.

“How can you feel good about yourself and your life if you are doing nothing to contribute to anyone or anything but yourself?” I asked her.

She has said she is neat and tidy but I keep her from being so. I told her that is bunk. I told her if she were really so concerned she would do more and demand more not just complain.

I further explained to her some of the problems she can see are things she simply needs to deal with and come along side me on. 

It should be an interesting spring and summer. Maybe we will do some/more entertaining. We’ve been hiding a little bit. Only her step siblings and a couple of her friends have come over since we moved in here. 

She has probably spent more time away between them, her friends and the guys she has dated. I want her to feel comfortable to bring people over.

Having no door and all of the downstairs to herself should facilitate that. 

I needed her to take ownership in keeping things tidy and guest ready. This will force it or show that we need outside resources.


  1. I love it: the bargaining and putting her in the position to walk the walk. Excellent decision!

    1. Thank you. I was worried for a moment when I said yes that it would all fall apart if we could not get the segments of couch into the up stairs bedroom.

      I don't love this couch anyway and was thinking of junking it. Sooner than later to save the relationship if need be.

      Things kinda hit a snag on us really getting the rest of the move done but she found some motivation last night.

      Up and downs she went moving boxes. Her new room is looking good.