It Aint All Roses

So we’ve had an EXCITING week and not totally in a good way. Winning a stop in the Top 25 Single Mom blog challenge by Circle of Moms is an honor I have to share with my friends and followers here in social media.

In off line life however the teen had food poisoning. She as not even home half the time she was dealing with it. She got a little ill… thought she was fine and recovered so she left.

It was a day later that her Facebook updates said “I feel like I am dying.”By then thankfully as these things go the worst of it was mostly over.

Poor Melody the mouse did not survive all the house hopping she has been doing. I did not know rodents are sensitive to sound.

I knew we would be okay yesterday when I could hear my daughter singing up stairs as she worked on cleaning her room and other girly teen things out of sight.

Then she was hollering down the stairs 

"Mom you should let me bleach a lock of your hair.”

I replied "Umm, yeah no. I am good and what are you up to anyway?"

“I am going for cherry red” she said.

Not even close. We have pumpkin orange spice stripes.

I think it still looks cute but she is not amused.

Apple Crisp

The time before last when I went grocery shopping I bought oats and Granny Smith apples. You should know what that means. 

Apple Crisp! YUM

This dessert is so easy and relatively healthy due to both the apples and the oats.

It is super simple and fast as well. It bakes in about half an hour. Which is great because when I finally got around to making this one I had a small, small window such that I had to leave the house to take a final about 40 minutes after I put it in the oven.

I forget what else we were doing that day. I think I was playing chauffeuror Mom Taxi which I don’t do religiously anymore. My evening final was on one of the daughters school days where in which she attends for a few hours in the afternoon.

Piled on top of that I had a morning class. It just made for busy days our schedules this quarter. That mixed with the cold spells here and there made the warm spiced comfort food delight that much more delish'.

Grab a large baking dish 9x12 or so will do. I like mine thin but you can get more of a deep dish effect by using a smaller pan. 

4 Cups of sliced apples (Approximately 4)

3/4 Cup packed brown sugar

1/2 Cup flour

1/2 Cup quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats

1/3 Cup butter softened

3/4 Teaspoon ground cinnamon

3/4 Teaspoon ground nutmeg 

 

I take one third to one half of the sugar and sprinkle it with the spices over the apples in the dish. 

 

Then sift the dry ingredients and cut in the butter until you have a uniform consitnencey. Sprinkle the resulting mixture fully over the apples.

 

Bake 350 for 25-40 minutes. Apples should be softened and the crust should cook and begin to brown and crisp just slightly. That is how you can tell it is done.

Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly. I eat mine plain but people like it al a mode aka with a scoop of vanilla ice cream which could also be fun.

Living in a split level I have resorted to using the oven to heat the downstairs when the temperature really dipped. So it was nice to have the thing on and the smell of food actually coming out of it.

Most of what I eat these days can be cooked on the stove or reheated in the toaster oven. I no longer microwave but the daughter likes the ease that affords.

She has tried her hand at making pasta which came out better than average considering she had no experience and was just kind of going on a whim that day. She has however not ventured too far into baking. Cookies and cupcakes so far has been her limit.

I should see if she wants to make fudge.

How Many Pets is Too Many

A few years back had the daughter and I living together, in a one bedroom apartment trying to get back on our feet as a family unit.

It was a spacious one bedroom but we had­­­ furniture for a two bedroom apartment. 

We live in a two bedroom condo now. So why do I feel that strange, over run by animals feeling, creeping up on me again? Maybe it is because my daughter brought home a feeder mouse as a pet.

Did anyone forget we have two cats? Does anyone have any idea how to feed and care for a pet mouse? What the heck is going on here?

Oh well Melody the mouse is cute enough in a rodent sort of way.

The cats agree... 

Back to the one bedroom. 

Maybe it was not the size but my daughters perspective on it all, life and pet ownership. 

So we took in two kittens from a litter a few doors down from us. Their mother had not litter box trained them. That was an adventure. 

A cute little adventure that had me digging a kitten out from behind wall furniture but we made it past that hurdle.

Then a mom I knew through social media sent out an SOS about a friends' cat they were trying to adopt into their household. The friend was out of town or out of state for good and had left two cats. 

One was fine and one was not doing so well. Her house, with two little kids under 7 was too much for this older kitty. Would anyone take her.

We said yes. The family even delivered her to us in a cardboard pet carrier. I set the carrier inside the apartment and went back out to say goodbye to the family. 

My daughter opened the carrier and either tried to take the cat out or put a kitten in…

What was inside the carrier was a grumpy, SMELLY, anti social, fully grown, black, female cat with talons not claws. 

This did not go over well. 

She hissed at the kitten who for the first time in it’s life arched it’s back and puffed out in defense mode scared to death!

To all of this, weeks later, my daughter wanted to add yet another kitten from the litter. 

I said "No". She kept asking. I held firm. So did she.

One afternoon she was on the patio with the third kitten. Through the screen she tried to tempt me to agree to adding it to our household. I really thought she was nuts. She got mad at me for not budging. 

Finally I said

"Listen here is the deal, no other living creature can live in our home. Five is enough. So you can add the cat if you want to sleep outside. Otherwise the answer will remain no."

She gave me a mean look and stopped talking to me but eventually she came inside, without the kitten.

Kitchen Adventures

After a recent shopping adventure I told my daughter to cook some flank steaks I had brought home.

The kitchen was a mess so while she was cooking I was washing dishes. We decided on a rice dish to go with our protein so that was working as well.

With all my distraction the food was ready before I could finish. After she had taken a few bites of her meal I asked my daughter if the meat came out okay.

Yes she said the prep had come out well but the steak she was eating was a tad bit salty.

"I don't know why" she said "I always season my meat the same way."

"It could not be that you over seasoned by a tad could it?" I asked

To which she replied "Oh no it can't be that."

"So then it is what the cows fault?" I asked

"Yes!" she said

So I started laughing and I said "Darn that salty cow." She countered with

"Yeah it is because you bought organic." and I nearly lost it. I was laughing so hard. What the heck kiddo? Whatever you say...

I hope she will realize for next time that thinner meat might not need as much seasoning but my pieces were not overly salted so she did not do a bad job.

Before this she had gotten a hankering for friend chicken one night and chicken breast the next. Both of which she artfully prepared all by herself.

Then more recently she decided one night she needed to make cup cakes. One of our many problems that night was that we had no baking soda.

I thumbed through my Betty Crocker Cookbook as well as searching the web.I think we ended up adapting the Silver White Cake recipe. We added chocolate powder and used oil for the shortening.

    2 1/4 cups cake flour

    1 1/2 cups white sugar

    3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

    1 teaspoon salt

    1/2 cup shortening

    1 cup milk

    1 teaspoon vanilla extract

    4 egg whites

 Since we were not going for an all white cake we used two whole eggs as well in lieu of four egg whites.

Sift the dry items and add the liquids. Stir all together and put in prepared pans etc.

 

Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes if making cup cakes. Ours came out yummy. I ate a couple before she put her make shift frosting on them. She does not like chocolate and I don't like frosting. I hate to say the rest of them just went to waste.

Girly Anxiety

"Mom I need anxiety pills."

Good thing I like my life random because that so came out of left field last night.

After our Halloween adventures we were having a little chat catching up and preparing for bed time.

Our collective Thursday was about to be a little busy.

The last week or so has kind of been a blur.

She has been trying to get her first job. Back and forth we went to the site and to get paper work together etc.

Her new boss was supposed to call on Friday or Monday.

He did not and she was going to call him on Tuesday.

She did not. Her boyfriend talked her out of it. Usually he is impressive but this time his advice might not have been helpful. 

Wednesday she popped into my room late in the afternoon almost evening with me out the door at 5pm and no time to spare.

“MOM MY BOSS WANTS ME TO SHOW UP AT 10am TOMORROW!”

GULP

What??? We still did not have the shoes that she needed. We spent a day going to like half a dozen stores and only at the end of all of that did she say she would wear some that she had tried on at Payless which was store #2…

Not only did I not have time to take her shopping that evening but I had a final at 9am Thursday morning. The forecast was also iffy for rain which would have just made the whole thing more miserable.

She went to trick or treat. I went to take my final and off to Boorittos & Gifts.
During our chat after it all I told my daughter we could get up early and I could just be late to my final while I helped her shop.

I arrived at school around 10am and took the final closer to 11 after reviewing the notes. I think I passed.

A few hours of work and my daughter had school.

Both of us skipped things we had planned or were scheduled to do earlier this week. I was supposed to attend a local MeetUp of Twitter folks. She was not feeling well for class on Tuesday.

I picked her up from work and took her to school. I came home to do a load of laundry including her new uniform which she had changed out of.

She headed out after that for a little R&R. I had one last final for the quarter.

For the weekend she went crabbing with her boyfriend and his uncle then to the water in another place and sleep over with the Besty.

I was not home I spent Friday & Saturday with friends at a conference. Wednesday nights and Thursdays early then late was when I was in school so those previous days were filled.
It was all of this and other random thoughts that had my daughter all anxious. I told her these things are normal even if they are a bit jumbled together or thrown at us last minute.

I tried to tell her having a lot on one’s plate is not the reason people take anxiety pills. 

Canceling the Mom Taxi

We all understand. Kids can’t drive. In these years as kids get closer to jobs and driving privileges their calendars are full of activities.

In days of old children walked to school. Then there were buses and now we have carpools. With friends and activities all over town it has become the norm.

So what happens when there is tension in the relationship or a tight turn around in the schedule?

Drama that’s what.

I have day classes two days a week this quarter. They get out a half an hour before my daughters' only classes on the same two days.

I was driving her to school. I was also driving her almost anywhere else. If I want us to walk somewhere (very rare) she does not want to go.

Another half of the time she has hip and back problems. Still when all is well she walks for hours and miles with friends.

She mentioned to me during one conversation how she was going to use her pocket change to take the bus to her boyfriends house.

The last time I asked her to take the bus for school and offered to get her a bus pass (which would have covered these random trips too) she balked. “Too weird, too scary” she said.

Oh how the times change.

I got home late from class the other day making her late for her class. She pitched a fit.

The next day I decided if she can take the bus to see her boyfriend when I am busy, she can take the bus to school two days a week.

Further her expectation that I be on her beck and call like an unpaid taxi any time I am not seemingly otherwise busy is over!

"You are my mom you are supposed to provide transportation" she told me. 

Beep! Wrong answer.

I am supposed to make sure she gets to school. After that there is little I have to take her to do. We gave a ride home to a friend last week. 

We were at school on a non scheduled day. How does said student who lives less than a mile away from us get to school and back each day? She has to walk. Either her mom has no car or takes it to work. Either way that teen is on her own to get around.

The Mom Taxi is not a need and should not be an expectation. 

It is a luxury like Mom the Maid.

In between our two days of school I have a day off. I like to take it easy in the morning but I have a night class from 6pm-10pm. Also a fellow student carpool scheduled for that day.

So after the transportation changes my daughter came to my room asking for a random ride to the boy friend’s house. It is the middle of the day and no one at his house is available to pick her up.

Someone would be available by the time she was ready to come home. I felt the familiar pang that would have led me to fire up the mom taxi in previous days.

She did not want to walk but she wanted to use her bus fair if I was unwilling or unavailable. 

I reminded her that I gave her bus fair for school not pocket change for whatever she waanted to do. Further that not being mom the taxi means I was not going to leave home for random afternoon transportation especially when it does not go along with anything else that I have going on.

She decided she was stuck and would not go. A bit later she had a change or heart and decided to walk.

This generation needs a lot of TLC but also a good dose of reality, responsibility and resourcefulness.

Not Back to School Living

Oh September! We always get excited because it means birthdays. 

Hers and then mine in the space of three days.

I love my baby girl who is of course not so much baby these days. This is the big year 16. 

I want to get Miche bags and she wants to take drivers training so she can get her permit.

"Lord help me. lol"

I just have that knot in my stomach about this child I have raised behind the wheel of a car. 

Any car but especially mine.

I know this is normal and should pass. It just makes me laugh as I try not to sink into a pit of worry.

She falls up the stairs and has made a habit of tripping over my new book bag on wheels.

She thinks yellow lights mean go faster. Wait, no she knows better...

I hear all the anguish of families sending kids off to kindergarden. On the other end of the spectrum is the collective sigh of the mums with older children tired of them being in her hair or underfoot.

As a homeschooling mom even of only one these things were just never our experience.

In our heydays someone in one of the many homeschooling support groups we belonged to would dub an upcoming parkday as the official end to summer freedom for those doing more traditional school at home.

I know in some homes there is a marked change from summer to schooling time. In our home only the seasons changed.

The Not Back To School Parkday event would usually be well attended and find families in a great mood. We would see old friends and hang out a bit later than usual.

Back at home I would just have my baby as always. It has been a joy to have her home. The days where she crawls all over me and lets me hug her without restraint have ended. Still she pops into my room or interacts with me via social media like an old friend.

We move about the kitchen. The cats tag team us. Sometimes she is running after one of them or outside trying to befriend a new one.

Around the house I find her bits and things. 

Notes that say 

“I love my boyfriend”, 

scraps of art in many textures: cloth, paper, plastic, glass our home has been tagged.

There is just a calm, a peace and a joy even with the teenage issues a foot. We are not perfect and there are those pesky misunderstandings. I know these days are numbered.

I am serious about outsourcing our cleaning and charging for the inconvenience.

She sleeps with the light and the radio on. I take her to classes two days a week. There is the expected automation in other areas. 

The day we went on the college tour she had on my pants I think it was. 

She has been busy doing haircuts and dye jobs this summer.