Saturday, September 24, 2011

Parenting @ 2am

Like my other blog name suggests; I keep odd hours like the college student and internet junkie that I am.

Thus it was again last night that the darling off spring and I wound up…discussing house keeping after midnight.

SMH This kid and I. Some days it is like neither of us seem to have a road map. I catch myself now at least. Some where along the line my strong assertive have no fear little girl turned into a sensitive young woman.

When she was a toddler and I would try to distract her from harm she would ignore the sound of my voice until I moved in her direction. Later when the neighbor girls would come to play they would cry at my words. She would just stare defiantly at me.

Now she cries when I tell her she is misbehaving and I am not happy about how things are going in the house between us. 

BREATHE BREATHE like labor these things too shall pass. 

Some days I wish I could get inside her head. Other times I figure no, not really.
She hates me 
she hates her life 
she doesn’t think enough 
of herself or 
understand her own potential.

Again these things are normal. 

It would be like peaking into the coffee maker while it is brewing. Water and grains, murkiness. Not the deep dark rich finished product. 

I know she knows I love her. 

She just has this notion that it means we would never fight. Half the time I do not even think we are arguing. 

There are issues of wrong and right. There are her personal preferences that fall some where underneath. I have a strong voice. She has one too. 

I think it will all be beautiful one of these days. Teen angst is all but unavoidable I think is what I have come to the conclusion of.

We still do not have a schedule down for housework. 

What we have instead are fall checks from school and the beginning of getting back on track in that direction. We need a car. 

I had to buy a replacement laptop. 

I told her to make a budget and I would give her cash for toiletries and personal items so she can learn to budget and shop for her own needs. 

I also told her I want chores done for the first time in her life.

I guess I have to be more constructive with my directives. Her room is too hot, so she was downstairs watching tv, her chores are not getting done. 

I fell asleep on the couch last night. I woke up at 2am and told her "Go to bed". 

"Not tired" she says to me. 

Well that is great seeing as the house is a mess, I am thinking. 

"Okay well then go get some housework done" I say.
"I will do it later" she tells me.

"You will do it now Ms. Not tired at 2am, with undone housework and homework."

Oh the tears as I then canceled her weekend plan to sleep over at her sisters tonight.

If I had the Total Transformation I guess I could have worded my chastisement of her to let her convict herself. 

It was 2am. 

My patience was low. 

She cries because it bothers her that I confront her with her faults. If she would have apologized I would have stopped talking. She hasn’t figured that out yet either.

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