Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Eruption

What is anything we get into disagreements over really ever about?

I do not know which is worse feeling like we keep getting stuck on the same issues or that every time we conquer one another one is around the corner. 

Never the less here we are.

So there is the ongoing issue of chores our relationship and mutual respect.

Normal stuff right?

Things began to pile up undone. I finally said something. I was rebuffed and ignored multiple times.

Now I can be confrontational and directive but that is usually not my way. I start off by making suggestions. Maybe I should ask more questions…

When things are good, once I mention things that should otherwise be getting done things get moving in the right direction and nothing more is needed.

Instead in this case outings and adventures with friends were on the agenda. 

Her “Can I go see my boyfriend?”

Me "Sure go ahead."

This extended into a two day marathon. With multiple siblings, a family from out of town staying in their house and the moving to a new first home out of a small duplex rental over there can be a huge time sucking vortex.

Anyone who knows a teen knows they would rather often be anywhere besides home. I do not mind letting her go when I know there will be activity and supervision.

It is not unheard of that they walk to see each other but more often than not the trips are carved out around transportation by one side or the other.

Off she went on a busy day. The day was so full with housework a teen in house wanted their hair dyed and that had gotten shelved. Thus day two was added after the long hours of one.

Fine it is summer a time for hanging out.

I was thinking when these adventures were over and things settled down my suggestions would get headed.

No such thing happened. Suddenly the month changed and suddenly on the heels of extended engagement it was time for an anniversary celebration.

“Say what?” I asked.

How have I been missing this every 30 days and why then had there been such a push to get together just a few days prior?

(And what about the household work that was being avoided?) Things left unsaid.

“What is the plan?” 

I asked looking for a time line or a time frame. I got nothing which I just knew meant 6-10 hours. Arrive after lunch stay through dinner and until bed time.

I called foul and my teen almost pitched a fit.

A few days ago I got a note in panic. Are you mad at us? Are you worried about us? What have we done?

Umm how did this become about anyone or anything besides the neglected housework? (A lack of (clear) communication).

Oy Vey

Words were said…

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