My daughter had her first,
to me, recognizable mood swing the morning she turned 9.
A hilarious story for
another day.
What it really did for me
was say “this kid has been affected by mood swings her whole life”.
Remember I mentioned in the baby story she went from pale to beet red during her first bath in the hospital
annoyed at the treatment for whatever reasons.
She was not a difficult
baby but once she hit about 18 months OH LOOK OUT. She was not bad but she was
demanding. I was determined to raise her unlike how I was raised. She was
determined to push my limits and go to the edge of all of hers.
It has been a whirl wind.
Something that I never expected is that she cried and cries a lot. I only cried
when I got really scared as a very young child usually because I had done something
wrong or because I had been spanked.
She cries if I fuss at her
in the wrong tone or say the wrong things.
Sometimes I see it as just
her nature.
Sometimes I try to catch myself because I see she is really being hurt more than simply chastised. Other times I know I am hitting a nerve and that is the purpose.
Sometimes I try to catch myself because I see she is really being hurt more than simply chastised. Other times I know I am hitting a nerve and that is the purpose.
I love that she has a heart
for others and is in touch with her own for her own sake.
I wish she were not prone to put up a wall when I try to tell her something is or has gone wrong with her behavior.
I wish she were not prone to put up a wall when I try to tell her something is or has gone wrong with her behavior.
I parent with my life long intention
on the front side. The things I demand of her or reprimand her for are not
about my comfort in the moment. I look at her life now and see the future she
can create with the right thoughts and actions.
More and more every day I
see the young woman she has become. She has a fiercely independent streak much
like both her father and I.
She can be bold and
assertive. She is fiercely loyal and will defend those she loves to the death.
I don’t call her or see her
as a cry baby. She is just sensitive.
I think tears are healthy.
I wonder if hers come from those deep early wounds that never quite healed.
Parts of her will always be
unique to her. She has suffered more loss or perceived more loss in her shorter
in this moment life time than I.
My hope is that as she
continues to grow and mature she will realize the value and potential of what
she has been given and able to hold on to all this time.
"Mom can I see a therapist
or a counselor?" she asked me.
It broke my heart. That is crazy since I run around saying the world needs therapy.
It broke my heart. That is crazy since I run around saying the world needs therapy.
It hurt to think she might be thinking
there are secrets I have not told her. In truth I realized she was saying:
A)
She has her own secrets and
B) She needs all the support she can get at this
phase in her life.
I have always been open to
that. More wise people surrounding her will always be an investment to bank
upon.
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